This blog was brought to you by the proud sponsors of Nando's and KFC.....known for satisfying more black men than Cheryl Cole.....Ohhh yeaahhh!!!
This week leaves me a little disappointed especially with the end of the olympics. After viewing the millions of pictures, tag in's and statuses' highlighting the fun and excitement of this years event on Facebook I've been now diagnosed with "Post Olympic Blues" syndrome. In an attempt to fight my illness I decided to begin a fitness regime through the inspirational performances of brother Usain and uncle Mo which ended in an out of breath and slightly dizzy black guy getting assisted to the nearest park bench whilst jogging through Hyde Park....embarassing to say the least!
At least now the early morning wake ups will be replaced by lazy lie in's for all of a week as the premiership football season starts back up this Saturday....thank god!!! Cheers bar will now be my second home for the remaining 6 months every weekend providing me with football, football and more football happy days!!!
Things got worse as my two weeks of carribean cooking came to an abrupt end (temporarily I hope) as I had to settle for a medicore spaghetti bolognese meal for sunday dinner...For all you potential backpackers / travellers out there....please make sure take note of what your mum's dishing up for you on your plate as i'm sure you'll find it's easy to eat but a lot harder to make...believe me I've tried!
Saturday night led me to enjoy my first old school hip hop night whilst being in Australia. It was quite surreal being in that type of environment especially when most songs were dropping the "n"bomb like theres no tomorrow but I was the only person in the room who was "racically"allowed to say it.
Back to work and whilst serving thirsty aussies and fellow expat's with glasses of golden joy (aka pints / schooners). I was propositioned by an older woman in a bizarre business deal for my hand in marriage. Whilst explaining to her my reasons behind being in Australia and my love to stay here within the distant future she made me an offer that SHE couldn't refuse suggesting that I pay her $5,000 to marry her in order to stay here in the country....considering she looked like the back end of a bus and was high as a kite whilst sitting with her HUSBAND (may I add) I kindly refused and smiled cringly.....awkward!
At my other job I got caught "rack watching" when member 1001(yeah right like I'm gonna tell you!) was putting on more of a performance than a workout which definetly brightened up the day. After having her assets on display she winked to me on the way out leaving me thinking "She must have been doing on purpose"...hmmmm...interesting!
Church as always was amusing to say the least as I've now encouraged others to join me in this holy time of my life (does that make me a "bible basher"?!?).....During playful conversation before service commenced the subject "Sex before marriage" got brought up as a major talking point in regards to the youth of today. As they were making the their way around the group of people asking their opinions and own experiences I was dreading getting quizzed by their judging eyes and wagging fingers....luckily for me with seconds to spare the music hit therefore signifying the start of the next service at my chance to escape 21 questions....phew....now I definitely know what the term "Saved By The Bell" means.....if only they knew ay ;)
Leading smoothly onto my ""extracurricular activities" where I made a new friend who I shall refer to as"" Ed Sheeran on the sauce"" whilst blogging away for Tagroom.com. The guy was a definite Jeremy Kyle / Jerry Springer special case arriving 2 hours late for the start of his new internship....(I thought black people were bad!!!) He then proceeded to raid his new bosses fridge for food (I'm sure he's not black?!?) and then finally tries to pull off a magic trick that would make Harry Houdini turn in his grave after attempting to turn a pack of chewing gum into cigarettes....(for the last time he's not black!)....P.S. before leaving the room he revealed that he was fresh out of a medical centre and doesn't brush his teeth cos he's "low on funds"....and I thought I needed help!
Anyway, enough of my rambling on....with these last words I'll leave you with this message that stuck out to me like a sore thumb as I was flicking through my facebook contact lists with friends who are starting to make progress in their life, career and relationships through taking advantage of opportunities that they have created for themselves. In the past I've questioned why certain instances haven't worked out as planned and whilst being a firm believer that ""ëverything happens for a reason" I have now come to the conclusion that we create our own destiny in life through the people we meet and the choices we make in life. With this being said I wish you all every success in the future and I hope you do the same.
Until next week peeps!!!
Love from "Down "Under!!!
Forde Esq.
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