Being reminded that I'm only in Australia for a year definitely has it's advantages and disadvantages I'll tell ya....where many of you back home are thinking that I'm lounging on a beach, watching "Home and Away" and petting kangaroo's every 5 minutes it's actually a lot different out here than people think!!! The constant work vs lifestyle balance has decided to follow me over to the sunny shores of Sydney to where I'm trying to satisfy both matters at hand within these working holiday visa constraints...not an easy task believe me!!!
Anyways, enough of the mellow dramatics and onto the past week which has seen me turn some heads...Literally. Let me cast your mind back to last Thursday which for me is the start of the week (why you ask?!?)...3 reasons...One, because I started this blog on a Wednesday so it seemed right in my head to start my official week from the Thursday Two, because I like to start the weekend early (eager I know!) and Three, because I arrived in Australia on a Thursday....confused?!? Don't worry about it...Back to the story....so I enter this hip hop and rnb club EARLY (no entry before 10pm....I'm on a budget...and what!) and it felt like I walk in there naked because the 18 black people (yh I counted) that were in there stared at me like I was an all you can eat buffet at Nando's...no lies!!! The first up to approach me was a guy from the states who immediately hit me with the line "you ain't from around here are you"....as much as I wanted to try out my best aussie accent and fool him I replied "no"..."what gave it away"....then my man gave an honest reply and said "because all the black folk that ever come to this joint are in here already"...."sigh"...after sharing some common observations on the lack of black folk in Australia and our admiration for jerk chicken (it's not just me!) he then asked me...."you got any weed"....I ain't gonna tell you what happened next....just remember kids...what happens in Sydney....stays in Sydney.
Onto my next interraction with "my sister" who was coming on a little to strong for my liking complimenting my "swag" (I'm fly I know!) and how she loves my british accent but for me I think she overstepped the boundaries when she commented on if my shoe size (I'm size 11.....twinkle toes baby ;) ) matched what's in my briefs **hides face** (oh no she didn't...oh yes she did!). This conversation as imagined died a slow death quite soon after this...Word to the wise ladies...good pick up lines work both ways! Overall the night was a success and I'm sure I'll be back in there sooner rather than later now that I'm part of the "family"!!!
Friday seen me link up with the old Fit 'N' Fast crew in Newtown before heading back into the city where we was lucky enough to party up in a penthouse apartment overlooking the city of Sydney. The view was amazing while the apartment itself was equally as breath taking (think MTV cribs minus the pool / cinema and hot cars outside!). After listening to Jaims' rendition of Backstreet Boys (I've still got that on my phone somewhere) and celebrating Johnny's promotion (congrats bro!) we was left reminiscing on past memories and new futures...ahh what a Walt Disney moment!!
That leads me swiftly on to Saturday where in the daytime I decided to switch back into tourist mode and visit Cockatoo Island where the name of the "island" doesn't really tell the full story. When you think of a island...your imagining palm trees, beaches and cocunuts right?!? Well in this case there was none of that as this island is full of recycled bits of material that they have some how turned into art...lets continue....from one of the exhibitions I witnessed a lady cutting the edges on a piece of paper...now really is that what you guys consider art?!? She must be a cut above the rest (bad pun!) but at least she's getting paid for what she loves I guess. Onto the night time and where I seen the nicest piece of generousity since people bought Soulja Boy's album (yeah I went there!) when a young man who was on a night out with his friends stopped inside Hungry Jacks to buy a homeless girl a whopper meal and even gave her the change....I'm not too sure what his was intentions were but from the outside looking in they looked genuine...what a guy!. As always, I was in search of the best hip hop spot to save my eardrums from crying and by chance I bumped into a random black bouncer on Oxford Street who was heading to Kings Cross.....now for those who haven't been there the contrast between clubbing in the city (CBD) and Kings Cross can definitely be described as "Chalk and Cheese" and this latest excursion to the "cross" was a definite cheesefest cos there was alot of "rats" out if you catch my drift.
Women looking to enjoy themselves as many ways as possible would be the best way to describe what I saw on Saturday night from taking shots off body parts to inviting men into the ladies toilets (i'm assuming to help them hold their hair back when they're spewing up in the toilet....hmmmm!). Anyways, the night ended early as I had to be responsible and wake up for work the next day (how boring am I?!?).....don't worry I'll make up for it this week.
On to Sunday, where once again I entertained 20 kids through the beautiful game of soccer...I mean football. Whenever I work with children there's always that one kid that hasn't had enough "timeouts" to realise he's doing wrong and I'm always the badguy who has to let them know what time it is and today was no different. With this being said parents were more than satisfied with my performance so much so that two took my number and asked me to look after them during the holidays....is someone up there trying to prepare me for fatherhood?!? Later on that evening at church as always it was eventful to say the least. Running late after my midday nap (I'm getting old you know!) I decided to board the free shuttle so I didn't miss the start of the service. After the boarding the bus I decided to take a seat by myself at the back of the bus where there was nobody to be seen or bother but less than a couple seconds later "Big Momma" decides to sit next to me and decides to get acquainted with my crotch area leaning across me and making herself right at home (Big Momma...NOOOOO!!!). She's busy telling me about her grankids where I'm thinking I ain't gonna get to see my grankids if she don't get of my family jewels. Luckily enough it's only a short journey to church so "meat and two veg" lived to see another day (close call there lads!).
The madness doesn't stop there folks...before getting into the service I decided to make a quick pit stop to see what the damage was to my men and take a leak at the same time and before I knew some guy tries to have a conversation to me about god....are you taking the piss?!?.....wrong time...wrong place to be having a deep and meaningful conversation I zipped up and was gone in 60 seconds flat...even Usain couldn't catch me!
The service itself was memorable though which touched me soo much I'm going to use as my final thought. The subject title this week was "Your identity determines your destiny" which to me speaks volumes because you can't escape who you are in life. If you're a bad person who does bad things you're going to lead a bad life and end up in jail, committing crimes or dead before your time. If you're a good person who works hard your going to get the most out of life and have the best memories so when the pastor said these things I had a "wow" moment which I thought I would share with anyone who takes the time to read this (thanks by the way!). Anyways, my brain is starting to throb which means I'm using it too much and I need to see a celebrity about adopting a black guy into their family (any Madonna's or Angelina Jolie's out there?!?)
Until next time people
Keep it real, be yourself and confident in who you are because there is NO ONE like you!!!
Forde Esq.
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