So summertime is finally here...and how do I know that you ask?!? Because if I was curled up naked in a ball under a xmas tree I wouldn't begrudge anybody who thought I looked like a massive lump of coal waiting to be given to that naughty child who didn't do his homework on time "Bah Humbug!" Speaking of Xmas...not long to go now until the most overrated festive day of the year is upon us and for the second year in a row I will spend it away from family and friends from back home but with that brings a new sense of adventure and culture on how things are done in Ozstralia! It seems strange seeing tinsel and fake snow while melting in 40 degree weather. So back to these weeks events which saw me make a legitimate token black guy cameo appearance in a music video based out in Mona vale. After spending the best part of 2 hours on public transport getting chatted up by a granny with no teeth whilst having my ear abused by chubby 10 pack liquor swirling gentleman by the name of "Eazy B" sitting next to me blasting gangster music with a paper bag covered beer in his hand I finally made it to the destination safe and somewhat sound. Kindly greeted to shots of Patron and Corona's I was repeatedly reminded how I resembled every black musician / actor known to man including Dizzee Rascal, Tinie Tempah and James Earl Jones?!? Any...way...all in all I would have to say that the video was a success with my role as the mysterious handsome stranger in the corner eyeing up all the talent being pulled off brilliantly if I do say so myself.
So on comes Saturday and after getting caught out in the sun for way too long over the weekend I now look a spitting image of one those Golliwogg dolls...remember them?!? After visiting a barrage of local festivals over the past few weeks it made a nice change to attend an event purely designed for musical entertainment with legal girls over the age of 18 years of age....in other words...thank god for "HARBOURLIFE". So the deal was to volunteer for 5 hours of my precious time in return to gain free admission into the occasion....Easier said than done...believe me! 3 hours later after handing out wristbands and flyers to festival goers to intoxicated to remember their own name I was finally let loose into the party to dance away in the base pumping playpen.....Hallelujah! Obviously I had a lot of raving to catch up with so I wasted little time in getting down with my bad self on the main stage whilst by standers looked on at me pulling more shapes than a box of lego blocks....yeah you heard me!
Well if you know me well enough you know that I'm not that much of risk taker on the whole but for some reason the gambling side of me got the better of me and I found myself at the casino placing bets on football scores looking to earn some cash for the crack. In the end my wallet "looked like a bible" with the amount of paper I had received from hard earned winning....ching ching!!!
So onto Sunday and after a week full of work, gambling and partying I felt that it should surely make sense to cleanse my soul in the house of the lord. So I'm sitting in the back row due to being late of course (Standard!) trying to get to grips with what the preacher man at the front is trying to say whilst this poor old aboriginal lady is doing her best to convince me to take notice of pictures of her grandkids which evidently looked nothing like her. I hope for her sake that her darling son has picked up the right set of kids at the hospital and not the children of Hugh Jackman because those babies looked as white as toothpaste!
So before my wrists cramp up (from writing of course!) I'll leave you guys with the message delivered to me ever so gracefully from the homeless man underneath central station tunnel. "You don't ask you don't get" which in a lot of ways carries a valid point. In life we often find ourselves to shy to ask for something we truly want but if you think about it, whats the worst a person can say?!? If the reply is simply "No" I'm sure you'll live to see another day so why not seize every opportunity that passes your way in the hope of reaching your destiny and achieving your goals in life for a better and more prosperous future.
Until next time folks
Forde Esq
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