Black Man In Australia - Chapter 21

So summertime is finally here...and how do I know that you ask?!? Because if I was curled up naked in a ball under a xmas tree I wouldn't begrudge anybody who thought I looked like a massive lump of coal waiting to be given to that naughty child who didn't do his homework on time "Bah Humbug!" Speaking of Xmas...not long to go now until the most overrated festive day of the year is upon us and for the second year in a row I will spend it away from family and friends from back home but with that brings a new sense of adventure and culture on how things are done in Ozstralia! It seems strange seeing tinsel and fake snow while melting in 40 degree weather. So back to these weeks events which saw me make a legitimate token black guy cameo appearance in a music video based out in Mona vale. After spending the best part of 2 hours on public transport getting chatted up by a granny with no teeth whilst having my ear abused by chubby 10 pack liquor swirling gentleman by the name of "Eazy B" sitting next to me blasting gangster music with a paper bag covered beer in his hand I finally made it to the destination safe and somewhat sound. Kindly greeted to shots of Patron and Corona's I was repeatedly  reminded how I resembled every black musician / actor known to man including Dizzee Rascal, Tinie Tempah and James Earl Jones?!? Any...way...all in all I would have to say that the video was a success with my role as the mysterious handsome stranger in the corner eyeing up all the talent being pulled off brilliantly if I do say so myself. 

So on comes Saturday and after getting caught out in the sun for way too long over the weekend I now look a spitting image of one those Golliwogg dolls...remember them?!? After visiting a barrage of local festivals over the past few weeks it made a nice change to attend an event purely designed for musical entertainment with legal girls over the age of 18 years of age....in other words...thank god for "HARBOURLIFE". So the deal was to volunteer for 5 hours of my precious time in return to gain free admission into the occasion....Easier said than done...believe me! 3 hours later after handing out wristbands and flyers to festival goers to intoxicated to remember their own name I was finally let loose into the party to dance away in the base pumping playpen.....Hallelujah! Obviously I had a lot of raving to catch up with so I wasted little time in getting down with my bad self on the main stage whilst by standers looked on at me pulling more shapes than a box of lego blocks....yeah you heard me!

Well if you know me well enough you know that I'm not that much of risk taker on the whole but for some reason the gambling side of me got the better of me and I found myself at the casino placing bets on football scores looking to earn some cash for the crack. In the end my wallet "looked like a bible" with the amount of paper I had received from hard earned winning....ching ching!!!

So onto Sunday and after a week full of work, gambling and partying I felt that it should surely make sense to cleanse my soul in the house of the lord. So I'm sitting in the back row due to being late of course (Standard!) trying to get to grips with what the preacher man at the front is trying to say whilst this poor old aboriginal lady is doing her best to convince me to take notice of pictures of her grandkids which evidently looked nothing like her. I hope for her sake that her darling son has picked up the right set of kids at the hospital and not the children of Hugh Jackman because those babies looked as white as toothpaste!

 

So before my wrists cramp up (from writing of course!) I'll leave you guys with the message delivered to me ever so gracefully from the homeless man underneath central station tunnel. "You don't ask you don't get" which in a lot of ways carries a valid point. In life we often find ourselves to shy to ask for something we truly want but if you think about it, whats the worst a person can say?!? If the reply is simply "No" I'm sure you'll live to see another day so why not seize every opportunity that passes your way in the hope of reaching your destiny and achieving your goals in life for a better and more prosperous future.

Until next time folks

Forde Esq

Black Man In Australia - Chapter 20

With nothing really serious to report apart from paying more bills than Destiny's Child I'm left with a bank account emptier I have nothing much more to offer you apart from these words that describe my current situation in life and in travel! So where do I start....WOMEN!

Where are all the ladies at?!? I'll tell you...not here...I'm sure everyone HOT girl in Sydney under the age of 30 is either married or at least in engaged with plans to. Being over the otherside of the world from friends and family with social media being the only method of communication makes you realise how much everyone is growing up so fast and making life changing choices i.e. marriage, buying property and starting families....time to grow up you say?!? Nah!....There's always next week for that!

 

Once again my most recent episode on FBI radio proved to be a memorable one as I ended up running around the station like a headless chicken taking various calls and requests from listeners wanting to hear the guy with the sexy british accent! (Not my words!)

 

So Tuesday actually proved that I'm not the only black man in Australia (Say What!) when I got the chance to meet Rnb Australian star Timomatic in the flesh whilst at work at Topman. Amongst taking pictures with fans and shoppers I managed to get a quick conversation with him and advise him on what should be next to grace his wardrobe....I wonder if he'll give me a shout out in his next video?!?

Onto the next festival which was evidently placed in Kings Cross. Usually known for it's strip clubs and prostitutes the festival itself was a bit of a let down to say the least. Resembling an old biddy's home, I quickly made an escape for the exit after witnessing a return of a drag queen that made Dame Edna look like a supermodel....I'm sure you get the picture!

Church news brought the best and worst out of me. Where I gave very generously to the church collection plate this week I found myself chuckling under my breath at the sight of this black woman getting baptised in holy water. With two helpers assisting her in the process I seemed to find it hilarious that she chose to wear rubber arm bands in a pool that a midget with no feet would have no problem swimming in....Obviously she wasn't taking any chances!

 

So that's about it for this week, nothing really new to report but as always I like to end my blog's on a good note so I shall recommend to you all and myself especially to keep progressing with your goals and ambitions in life. A step in the right direction is always a good one no matter how long it may take to get there.

 

Until next time folks

 

Forde Esq.

Black Man In Australia - Chapter 19

So imma start this week on a positive which I dedicate to the well travelled scouser I met whilst at work at Topman. During our discussion of travel and life experiences he left me with the words "Where there's a will there's a way" which fondly describe my avid plans to fly to America and live there in the forseeable future. Obviously he has faith and so do I after that comment but who knows what the future may hold.

So this week again doesn't have much to be revealed apart from the fact that I'm another week closer to ending my Australian adventure. The highlights for me as always was the weekend where again I took the radio airwaves of FBI radio to help put together another classic segment of musical entertainment. Later on that night to housemates and I ventured into the money infused realms of The Star casino to catch up on some much needed football to only be let down by results not going our way and being persuaded to part with our hard earned cash courtesy of the slot machines.....BIG thumbs down!!! 

With the festival season in Sydney being well and truly up and running on Sunday I found myself in attendance of Glebe street festival....If you ask me, this was more a street fayre rather than a "Festival" as not much music was on display but plenty of food was on offer to feed the 5000. After bumping into the same Trinidadian cook at the past couple of festivals I was finally treated to some delicious caribbean cuisine courtesy of Jamaican Jerk Sauce...Thank you Jesus! These guys were a god send to my tastebuds even if they were Jamaican!

Speaking of Jesus, Church as always brought it's fair share of laughs through a young chap who definitely thought he was auditioning for X Factor whilst praising the lord. Harmonising in the background this vocalist did his best to ensure that the congregation heard what he had to offer...what a wally! The message for the night was a good one I'm sure but I was too busy trying to dodge the couple in front of me providing their public display of affection that would send nun's heartbeats racing.

Also, over the weekend I managed to collect my free singlets delivered to me courtesy of fashion company "Love Of Eos" for my blogging efforts on their website. Their generousity only puts further thoughts into my mind to if I should take this writing thing more seriously, if not the freebies / giveaways that companies are willing to offer in exchange for your thoughts but also hard cash that hopefully follows it.
Not a bad gig if you ask me?!?

This week marks the milestone in my travelling adventure as on Monday 19th November 2012 I had officially been away from home for an entire year. Through my explorations through Europe, Asia and of course Australia I've been lucky enough to meet some great characters that I can consider friends and hopefully can stay in contact with in the future. With this I provide you the statement that says that everybody in your life is a blessing and serves their purpose no matter how big or small their role might be. Embrace them for who they are and what they have to offer and they often are brought into your life for a reason.

Until next time folks

Forde Esq